It is common to want to turn every moment in Paris into a Robert Doisneaux tableau.  But location can be everything.  We at Tipsy HQ have sacrificed our honor over the years to determine the best spots for P.D.A. à la parisienne. They are:

Paris’ most romantic midnight public humping grounds, the Sacré Coeur. Photo credit.

1. THE SACRED HEART BASILICA OF MONTMARTRE, 2 AM

Yes, the daytime and even the evening hours find the Sacré-Coeur unromantically teaming with tourist hoards, but late at night the grounds of the city’s most gorgeous building vacate, except for a few couples leaning at the railings, groping as they gape out over the twinkling city.  Better yet, the spot is a short climb uphill from several tucked-away, date-friendly jazz hotspots of the 18th arrondisement (such as Autour de Midi et Minuit). When the moment arrives, whisper, Merde, cherie, tu me tue.  (Damn, darling, you slay me.) Should the moment call for a more indecent display of affection, lead your lover around behind the illuminated domes of the Basilica. The northern view over the suburbs is just as lovely, and a little more private — except for the priests and nuns sleeping above. You may wish to fornicate loudly for their amusement/edification.

 

Paris' top park for a romantic smooch. Photo credit.

Paris’ top park for a romantic smooch. Photo credit.

2. BUTTES CHAUMONT, 11 AM

 After a night of passionate exertion, take your sleep-deprived creampuff/hunk for a little stroll to the Buttes Chaumont. The hills were the site of some bloody battles and, in the Middle Ages, a trash heap, before being absorbed into the city proper in 1862 and converted into a Baroque style, chaotic and utterly charming park. It now usually has quite a few kids running around playing and shrieking, or at least as much as French tykes are ever allowed to do these things. Stare dreamily into your sex bomb’s eyes and imagine the possible consequences of the previous night’s rendez-vous.

 

Parisians' bobos (BOurgeois-BOhemians, or hipsters) prefer to snuggle on the Canal.

Parisians’ bobos (BOurgeois-BOhemians, or hipsters) prefer to snuggle on the Canal.

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3. CANAL ST. MARTIN, DUSK

The banks of the Seine are classic, but younger, more scraggily locals bring their baguette, cheap vin rouge and fromage to the banks of the Canal St. Martin. For added effect, bring a stone to skip.  If your lover hasn’t seen Amélie, you’ll come across as creative and whimsical.  If she has, you’ll score points for unexpected homage.