Kissing Brazilians is different: A guide to wet, sloppy romance


Brazilian kissing culture can give foreigners a mistaken impression of Brazilian sexuality. Photo in Nitoroi by Szymon Kochanski.
If your Brazilian kiss doesn't feel like a dental exam, your mouth isn't open wide enough. Photo in Nitoroi by Szymon Kochanski.
If your Brazilian kiss doesn’t feel like a dental exam, your mouth isn’t open wide enough. Photo in Nitoroi by Szymon Kochanski.

The beijo, or Brazilian kiss, is a full-on facial and salival assault. It is used to express attraction, make nearby exes jealous, and to find out if a complete stranger has something stuck in his teeth.

It is very frequently performed; in fact, if you spend a night out dancing or in bars and you don’t manage to kiss a cute stranger, you are a casanova manqué and might as well go get a cat.

A few things to know about Brazilian kissing:

1. Brazilian guys go for the kiss within about five minutes of meeting someone (five seconds during carnival). A typical approach is to loom in aggressively with the mouth stretched to a yawn, tongue waggling like an excited puppy.

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2. A female response may be “Não, para com isso, meu deus!” (“No, stop it, my god!”) while leaning in, mouth wide open, to receive the kiss. If, however, the female actually does not wish to be kissed, she may say the same while sticking a finger in the man’s mouth or nose, or she may just slap him.

3. Brazilian kisses are disgusting. Mouths are wide open, tongues graze the backs of throats, slobber dribbles on the ground.

4. The Brazilian bunda (ass) is considered sacred ground. You can and should wildly grope your kissing buddy in public (Brazilian PDA looks basically like sex with clothes on), but if a hand grazes the gluteal region expect things to come to a quick halt.

A few more rules are demonstrated in this video, taken on the streets of Lapa in Rio:

 

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 UPDATE: December 4, 2013

Dearest Brazilians,

Just to address your comments below:

1. SOURCES: As with almost all of the blog, this information is mostly NOT based on personal experience. In this case, it’s also NOT based on talking to Brazilians — of course no Brazilian is going to describe their kisses this way, as for them, theirs are simply normal kisses. These descriptions of Brazilian kisses come from conversations with countless foreigners who all pretty much describe their kisses with Brazilians in the same way.

2. “DISGUSTING”: This is a bit of hyperbole. I absolutely love sloppy drooly Brazilian kisses! So do many other gringões. Don’t worry, dear Brazilians, não se preocupe não, vamos beijar vocês ainda….

15 Comments

  1. Gabi
    March 21, 2018
    Reply

    “não se preocupe não, vamos beijar vocês ainda….”
    This was actually the best part haahaha
    I think you’re article is pretty accurate actually, speaking as a Brazilian girl.

  2. Ângelo Ambrósio
    July 8, 2016
    Reply

    Actually you described the way which many brazilians kiss (however in a little exaggerated manner), but it’s not enough to categorize it like something that every alive brazilian do, like you did.

    I can say it because I’m a 23 years old brazilian guy who has kissed loads and loads of brazilian girls, from teens to mature women, poor, average and rich ones.

    As for the brazilian men, almost all of them are indeed prone to kiss like that. But the point is that it’s not really normal and it’s not ok for all brazilian WOMEN, Also, this kind of worlds’s fake propaganda about them can lead foreign people to make a misjudgment and insult them.

    And the reason why it can only be a propaganda which does not apply for all of brazilian girls is simple: Brazil is the world’s fifth largest country and its people have got a lot of different characteristics among themselves, depending on the region they were born AND their economic social class; and I mean really deep and complex differences.

    For instance, Brazil is still a very much religious country: it has the largest number of Catholics in the world, not mentioning the people from other religions, that represent 27,21% of all brazilians. Surely that not most of brazilian women who follow some religion act like nuns. What I am trying to say is that not all of brazilian women are lecherous and profligate as you not-brazilian guys usually think they are. Far from that.

    If you go to a party in Rio de Janeiro, far from depicting the whole populaton of this city, there are more odds to find girls like that because Rio’s culture and way of life are more sexual than most of brazilian cities.

    I’m an atheist and hedonist person, so actually I do prefer lecherous women and I don’t see any problem about them being this way. After all it’s all about culture and ideology, from gods to whores, and it’s very stupid judging a woman for being profligate, as it is just a brainwashing made by the Catholic Church in the past, which lasts so far.

    As a responsible brazilian man I don’t want to endorse this kind of propaganda that diminishes brazilian women. Note that I’m not saying that the author intended to do that, but even so he did it. What I said here is mostly addressed to non-brazilians readers who believe in everything they read or hear about Brazil. I can notice it better now because I’m not currently living in Brazil.

    My country has a very rich culture and nature and brazilian women are indeed stunning, but more than that, they simply have an amazing and irresistable warm personality, and that’s what you guys will enjoy findind out the most.

  3. silvio
    April 7, 2015
    Reply

    Sloppy, oversexed? Tell me more about how americans dance at hip hop clubs.

    • April 7, 2015
      Reply

      That’s a good suggestion for an article, I may do that!

  4. Michele Passos
    April 6, 2015
    Reply

    Sorry, but foreign Kiss badly, like a fish mouth closed, is bad. But u have to confess, brazilian kiss is wet, wild, delicious, something that only us have, cause we are different. Hot people.

    • April 7, 2015
      Reply

      Agreed. And you’ve just demonstrated something I love as an amateur cultural anthropologist… ask someone about their experiences with foreigners, invert it, and you’ve learned something about that person’s culture.

  5. September 2, 2014
    Reply

    It’s so weird to imagine that you (foreigners) think you’ll have sex with someone just because you kissed him or her…

  6. May 20, 2014
    Reply

    Brazilian kisses are the best. Says a girl from the Netherlands.

  7. J.M.
    December 4, 2013
    Reply

    PDA in Brazil is very common and wilder when we are talking about straight couples. Gay guys and girls have some rare spots in the bigger cities to demonstrate affection, and with more restraints. This obviously doesn't matter when you are at a night club. The kiss Tipsy Pilgrim writes about is a typical kiss from a night club or carnaval party, or even a closed Reveillon party, where people oftenly "ficam", or have NSA fun, without necessarily having the "full stuff" sex later. Some people in Brazil just go for the kiss/kill. And the kiss is not always messy, unfortunately.

  8. William
    December 3, 2013
    Reply

    Sorry, that does not depict a brazilian kiss at all. You blew it way out of proportion…I kinda have to agree with someone who said you must have had some awkward experience…

  9. Pedro
    November 24, 2013
    Reply

    This is completely unfair! The true part is that kissing cute strangers is common (and doesn't mean you will have sex after), and it doesn't take long to kiss a girl if she likes you (if you take too long she will eventually get bored by the talk). However it's not "sex with clothes on". Not very different from a kiss anywhere else. This picture is not representative at all. Now explain to me what American "grinding" is if not "sex with clothes on" with a complete stranger!

  10. Tipsy Pilgrim
    November 24, 2013
    Reply

    Some of my most lovely kisses have been with Brazilians, but I stand by my description of them!

  11. roberto
    November 23, 2013
    Reply

    I guess you had bad kissess experiences in your life. Rsrrs

  12. Pixie
    November 21, 2013
    Reply

    Our kisses are only more passionate! haha You only get to things for a while in life, so you must take the chances when they present itself 😉

  13. March 13, 2012
    Reply

    Brazilian kisses are disgusting… (?)
    i dont think so… our kiss is pretty good and exciting 🙂

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